Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice