did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live