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Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
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