I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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