i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.