Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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