your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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