What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
