Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
