there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
