Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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