so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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