R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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