remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
