How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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