she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
