Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize