i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
