Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
