I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
ttyl tear gas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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