i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
