Someone shit on the floor
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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