Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize