I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
