it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize
