I hate all girls vehemently.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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