Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
