Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize