even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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