I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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