I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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