that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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