you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
