Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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