So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
