Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
