So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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