She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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