my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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