How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
