it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
