Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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