bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
