moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The adults are the big ones right?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
