3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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