This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.