I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?