Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
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Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
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Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything