Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
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My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.