I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.