I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What a dumb baby whore.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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