Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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