i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize