I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh god it's open bar.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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