im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
