My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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