you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
