I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
