We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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