i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize