somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I love you. Go after that dick
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
