This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
