then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
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I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
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But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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