dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
