I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
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Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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