Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
