i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
