Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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