Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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