Christians are straight up FREAKS
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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