Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
