Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
