Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The air was thick with penises
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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