At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
